You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
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I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
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Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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