So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
