That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i think i just lost a toe
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
