we made out on top of his cat.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
