Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
