oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
