what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
