Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just found puke in my bra..
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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