About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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