that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
