I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
