Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
