He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
