I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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