is your mom at the bar?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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