They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
