i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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