Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
The best revenge is premature balding
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
