Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Randomize