OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Vodka?
Forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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