soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
