I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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