I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
