I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
