I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
