that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
