did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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