why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
