problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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