dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
