Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
