Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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