David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
