Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize