You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
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you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
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I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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