If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
