Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize