And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
