peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
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