I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
