Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
