I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize