she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
