I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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