Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
