I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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