there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
