look no pants
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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