It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Send help, water and tortillas.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
