My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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