dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I wish you could order shots online.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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