I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
