All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize