It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
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