I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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