thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
