Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
