I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
