did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
